


Paladins

by cesirle



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Attempted Murder, BAMF Lance (Voltron), Bottom Lance (Voltron), Character Death, Crazy Keith, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fake Character Death, Faked Suicide, Gen, Heathers AU, Homophobia, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Keith Is A Sociopath, Keith as JD, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance as Veronica, Langst, M/M, Murder, Murder-Suicide, Near Death Experiences, Not Happy, Poisoning, Top Keith (Voltron), kangst, klangst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-22 13:07:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19668868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cesirle/pseuds/cesirle
Summary: Lance abandons everything he stands for (including his best friend) to be a part of the famous group of the school- The Paladins. Everything was going smoothly until Keith arrived to town, and Lance started losing himself. Will he survive through all this? Or will he have the same fate as Allura Chandler?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a very advanced writer yet. Also English isn't my first language so I'm sorry for all the grammar mistakes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance finally joins the Paladins- but is it worth it?

Lance sighs as he hears the bell ring, and he pushes the doors to the school open. He pushes his way through the people to a staircase and sits down on it. He opens his diary and takes a pen in his hand.

_September 1st, 1988. Dear Diary:_

_I believe I’m a good person. I believe that there’s good in EVERYONE. But... here we are. The first day of senior year, I look around at these kids that I’ve known all my life and think what happened to them?_

Lance looks up from the diary and sees few people already shouting insults at each other. Few words he catches on are ‘Slut’, ‘Burnout’ and ‘Poser’. Lance shakes his head and closes his diary. He puts the diary on top of his other books and grabs them while trying to make his way to his locker. There are so many people he has to get through, but he finally does it. He gets to his locker and puts his code in. He opens the locker door and puts his books and pens in there. Lance then closes the locker door and leans onto it sighing.

What happened? It seems as if yesterday they were all just so tiny, happy and shiny. They were playing tag in the park and they were all getting chased by the tag. More insults ring in the air and Lance starts walking towards the cafeteria. Just yesterday they were all getting along, laughing and singing together. They were baking cookies with their parents and secretly eating the paste even though they told them not to. Maybe them getting bigger was the trigger? Just like the Huns invading Rome. Lance laughs out loud and accidentally bumps into someone. 

“Oh sorry!” He apologizes and awkwardly continued making his way to the cafeteria. To Lance, Westerberg High doesn’t even feel like a high school. It feels more like a Thunderdome. Lance takes a deep breath and holds it in for a while until he releases it and reminds himself that they’re graduating soon.

“White trash!” Some dude shouted at him and ran away. Lance grunts and walks forward. If he isn’t gonna be dead by June, College will totally be a paradise. Deep down he knows, that life can be beautiful, even if high school can’t. He prays every day that life would get better. He thinks that because they changed back then, they could maybe change again. But, maybe not today...

Lance hears a thud behind him and sees as a girl gets knocked over, her books and paper already a mess in front of her. “Ow!” She exclaims and tries to stand up. Lance goes over to her and kneels in front of her. “Hey, are you okay?” Lance asks as he offers his hand to help her get up. The girl glares at him and slaps his hand away. “Get away, nerd!” She shouts as she starts to collect all of her papers and books off the floor. Lance gets up and rolls his eyes. “Okay.”

Lance finally arrives at the cafeteria and takes a tray. He takes an apple and a juice box and sets them on the tray. He gets out of the line and he spaces out. Surely things _will_ get better when Lance’s letter comes from Harvard, Duke or Brown. Then he could blow this town. He’s actually dreaming of ivy-covered walls and smoky French Cafés in the night when he’s sleeping.

Suddenly someone walks into Lance and Lance almost drops the tray. “Watch it!” They yell, and Lance looks up to see who it was- and of course, it’s James Sweeney. Then James slaps Lance’s tray out of his hands, to the floor and the apple crushes onto the floor, and his juice gets everywhere. “Ooooops,” He says mockingly and laughs loudly at Lance.

_James Sweeney: 3rd year as a linebacker and eighth year of smacking lunch trays_ and being a huge dick.

“What did you say to me, cunt?” James asks pissed, and Lance didn’t even realize that he said it out loud. “Aah, nothing!” Lance exclaims immediately and waves his hands up in surrender. James just scoffs and walks away, making Lance sigh in relief.

Lance knows that life can be beautiful, but he doesn’t think that the people in life can. Then he feels someone knock on his shoulder, and he turns his head to that direction. “Agh! Hey Romelle.” He says after he relaxes. “Hey” She answers and picks up his tray.

_Romelle Dunnstock. Lance’s best friend since diapers. They’ve been through everything together, and honestly? Lance wouldn’t change Romelle to anything, she’s such a sweetheart._

“We still on for movie night?” She asks excitedly, and Lance chuckles. She still manages to be happy even though high school sucks ass. “Yeah, you’re on Jiffy Pop detail.” Lance winks at her, and Romelle smiles widely at him. “I rented ‘The Princess Bride’,” Romelle exclaims. “oh-ho-ho, again? Wait, don’t you have it memorized by now?” Lance asks and chuckles when Romelle playfully pouts. “What can I say? I’m a sucker for a happy ending.” She smiles at him and gasps when Ryan comes and knocks the tray from Romelle’s hands. “Romelle Dumptruck! Wide load! Honnnnnk!” Ryan shouts in Romelle’s face and laughs loudly after that. Lance never understood why they keep calling her fat or anything like that. Romelle was actually very thin and has a very small figure altogether.

_But that’s Ryan Kelly. Quarterback. He’s the smartest guy on the football team. Which is like being the tallest dwarf. Meaning that he isn’t very smart at all…_

Ryan laughs again. “Haha, alright!” Lance looks at him annoyingly and then he gets some unknown courage somewhere. “Hey! Pick that up! Right now!” He shouted and his eyes went wide. _Wow, where did that come from?_ “I’m sorry. Are you actually talking to me?” Ryan asks and Lance gulps. “Yes, I am. I wanna know what gives you the right to pick on my friend. You’re a high school has-been waiting to happen. A future gas station attendant.” Lance says sternly, and Ryan steps closer to him so Lance can feel his breath on his face. Then Ryan points to his cheek, right under his eye and says “You have a zit right there,”. Ryan starts laughing about it, and so does everyone else. Lance has never been more embarrassed in his whole life.

Just at that moment, _The Paladins_ enter. 

There’s the Paladins. They practically float above it all. 

_Hunk Mcnamara, he’s the coach of the cheerleaders. His dad is loaded- he sells engagement rings._

_Pidge Duke, she runs the yearbook. No discernible personality, but her mom did pay for everything she owns- spoiled brat._

_And Allura Chandler. The Almighty. She is a mythic bitch._

They’re solid Teflon-- never bothered, never harassed. Lance would give anything to be like that.

Then everyone starts whispering things like, ‘I’d like to be their boyfriend’, ‘If I sat at their table, guys would notice me’ or the sweet Romelle, ‘I’d like them to be nicer’. Then Lance whips his head to the guy next to him, who just whispered, ‘I’d like to kidnap a paladin and photograph them naked in an abandoned warehouse and leave them tied up for the rats’. Lance stares at him with wide-open eyes, and carefully moves closer to Romelle.

* * *

Lance is in one of the (unisex) bathroom stalls. When he hears footsteps and laughter outside. The stall’s door next to him open, and he hears someone vomiting. 

“Grow up Pidge. Bulimia is so ‘87.” he hears Allura say. “Maybe you should see a doctor Pidge,” Hunk says sounding worried, and he hears some more vomiting. “Yeah Hunk, maybe I should,” Pidge says and then they quiet down when they hear someone else come to the bathroom. Lance puts his eye on the crack between the door and the wall and sees Allura and Hunk standing in front of the mirror, and in the mirror he sees Pidge hunched over the toilet. Then he looks over to the door and sees Mr. Coran standing there with a stern look over his face. “Ah, Allura and Hunk-” Mr. Coran starts but gets cut off by Pidge vomiting. “And Pidge. Perhaps you didn’t hear the bell over all the vomiting. You’re late for class.” Coran finishes, and the Paladins look slightly panicked. 

Lance takes out his notebook and a pen from the side of his jacket. “Pidge wasn’t feeling well! We’re helping her.” Allura complains and Lance writes on the paper. “Not without a hall pass, you’re not. Week’s detention.” Mr. Coran says and is about to walk away when Lance gets out of his stall and hands him a piece of paper. “Um, actually, Mr. Coran, all four of us are out on a hall pass. Yearbook committee…” Lance says and shifts from side to side awkwardly. “I see you’re all listed. Hurry up and get going.” Mr. Coran says and hands the note back to Lance, and he sighs in relief.

Allura comes behind him and takes the note. “This is an excellent forgery. Who are you?” She asks looking between the note and Lance. “Uh… Lance, Sawyer. I crave a boon.” Lance says and sees Pidge coming out of the stall, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “What boon?” Allura asks almost mockingly, and Lance takes a deep breath before talking. “Um. Let me sit at your table, at lunch. Just once! No talking necessary. If people think that you guys tolerate me, then they’ll leave me alone...” Lance says quickly and shuts his mouth tight so he couldn’t say anything more and embarrass himself. The Paladins start to laugh, and Lance starts feeling more and more uneasy by each second. “BEfore you answer, I also do report cards, permission slips, and absence notes.” He adds and the paladins stop laughing. “How about prescriptions?” Pidge asks with a hopeful look on her face, and Allura glares at her. “Shut up Pidge.” She says rolling his eyes. “Sorry, Allura.” She apologizes and looks at her feet.

Allura steps closer to Lance, and takes his jaw in her hand, turning it to left, right and up and down. Then she let’s go, steps back and sighs. “For a greasy little nobody, you do have a good bone structure,” Allura says and puts her hand on het hips. Then Hunk steps closer to Lance, smiling widely. “And a symmetrical face. If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull, I’d have matching halves. That’s very important.” Hunk says and looks at Lance’s face, doing pretty much the same thing Allura did. “Of course, you could stand to lose a few pounds…” Pidge says and looks at Lance up and down. Lance visibly tenses under her stare. “And this could actually become something beautiful,” Allura says as she steps closer again, now a smile on her face.

“Of course you can’t be seen with us like… _that_. But we’ll get you something better.” She says and looks over to Pidge. “Pidge get him the spare clothes Hunk has in his locker-” she says, pidge nods and runs off and then Allura turns to Hunk. “Hunk I need your brush.” She says and Hunk nods, giving her a brush out of his school bag. Pidge comes back to the bathroom, with a bag in her hand. “Let’s make him beautiful,” Allura says and the Paladins nod in agreement and Pidge takes the clothes from the bag. 

Allura turns to Lance again and grabs both of his shoulders, looking right into his eyes. “Okay?” Lance nods. “Okay!” He exclaims and gets a giggle from Hunk. Allura puts her hair up on a ponytail with her red scrunchie and looks at Hunk and Pidge. Then all of the Paladins nod and look at Lance.

* * *

The Paladins come out of the bathroom, Allura, Pidge, and Hunk walking in front of Lance. People immediately start whispering about them. When they’re out of the shadows, everyone stops and looks at them.

“Who’s that with the Paladins?” Someone asks, and Lance hugs himself trying to make him seem smaller. They walk for a while, and the whispering soon turns into talking. The word spreads like air in this school. By now, everyone knows that there’s someone with the Paladins. “Lance?” Romelle shouts behind some students, and everyone turns to see Lance again. The Paladins step out of the way little, so people could see him. “Lance! His name is Lance!” Someone whispers and Lance straightens up and puts a hand on his hip. 

Allura takes a hold of his wrist and pulls him between her and Pidge, Hunk being on the right side of Pidge.

Maybe life can be beautiful. Maybe Lance can actually get something out of this last year, and finally, get his way. If you would ask him how it feels, looking like hell on wheels. He would just laugh and say it’s beautiful. He might actually be beautiful! And when he’s beautiful, it’s gonna be a beautiful frickin’ day.

* * *

_September 22nd, 1988. Dear Diary:_

_It’s been 3 weeks since I’ve become friends with the Paladins… well, “friends” isn’t the right word exactly. It’s more like I work with them, and our job is being popular and shit._

“Hey, Lance!” Lance looks up from his diary and sees Romelle standing there. He closes his diary and smiles at her. “Hey!” He says and Romelle smiles sadly.

“You look really beautiful these days…” She says trailing off at the end, and Lance shrugs. “Yeah well, it’s still the same me underneath.” He teases and Romelle looks at him sadly. Lance’s eyes widen, and he raises an eyebrow. “Are you sure..?” Lance’s breath hitches in his throat, and he gets up from his spot, so he’s the same height as Romelle. “Look, I’m sorry I missed our movie night last week. I’ve just had a lot going on..” He puts his hand on Romelle’s shoulder, and suddenly she seems happy again.

“I get that. You’re with the Paladins now. It must be exciting!” She exclaims and Lance chuckles at her excitement. “It’s whatever… But we’ll hang soon, I promise.” He says and Romelle nods. Then Pidge comes behind him and scoffs. “Lance! Allura says to haul your ass to the caf pronto.” Lance rolls his eyes and looks at Romelle apologetically. Romelle nods and leaves the two of them alone. Lance turns to Pidge and shrugs.

“How very.” He says and follows Pidge to the cafeteria, where Romelle was heading too. When they arrive, Lance sees Romelle sitting alone and he gets a bad feeling. “Took you long enough,” Allura says when they get to her, and Lance shrugs. “I need a forgery in James Sweeney’s handwriting…” She starts and looks around, and then he looks at Pidge and hums. 

“You’ll need something to write on. Pidge, bend over.” Allura says and Pidge sighs and bends over, so it’s easy for Lance to write.

Lance takes out his notebook and rips out a page to write on. He puts the page down on Pidge’s back and puts a pen on the paper waiting for Allura to tell him what to write. Allura smirks. “ _Hi honey, I’ve been watching you and thinking about us in the old days. I hope you can come to my homecoming party this weekend. I miss you! James._ Oh and put an “XO” after the signature.” He says and Lance writes it down and puts an “XO” after James’ name.

Lance takes the paper off of Pidge’s back, and Pidge stands up straight again. Lance looks at them questionable. “What’s this for anyway?” The rest of the Paladins laugh at the question, and Allura looks at him smiling. “You know how James used to hang with Romelle Dumptruck?” Allura asks teasingly, and Lance tenses at the mention of ‘Dumptruck’. “It’s Dunnstock.” He mumbles. “Well yeah, in kindergarten. We all did.” Lance reminds them and Pidge snickers. “We all didn’t kiss on the kickball field,” She says and Hunk chuckles. 

“Oh my god, that’s right, I totally forgot! James kissed Romelle Dumptruck. It was disgusting.” Hunk laughs and Allura rolls her eyes with a smirk on his face. Allura takes the paper from Lance’s hand and looks over to James and Ryan. “Perfect. Hey James, come here!” Allura shouts and both of them look at her. 

James turns to Ryan and smirks. “Yo, what do you think Allura wants?” Ryan shrugs. “I bet she wants you to like, set her on your johnson and spin her around like a goddamn pinwheel!” He whispers yells back and James laughs. “Hell yeah!” They fist-bump and walk towards Allura and the others. Allura offers the paper towards James. “Be a sweetie and give this note to Romelle Dumptruck for me.” She says and Lance’s eyes open wide. “What? NO!” He shouts and Allura glares at him.

“Since when did you hang out with that lard-ass?” James asks and takes the note, and starts to open it. “Don’t read it! She’s having an extra heavy flow and needed some advice from my gyno.” Allura says and smirks, when Ryan’s and James’ face’s turn into disgusting ones. “Ewww,” They both say at the same time. Lance takes the note from James’ hand “Yeah, I’ll take that. Thank you!” and glares at Allura. “Romelle’s had a thing for James for like 13 years now. This would kill her. Come on Allura, you’re bigger than this!” Lance exclaims and Allura glares at him harshly while Hunk and Pidge stare at him wide-eyed.

Allura steps closer to Lance. “Are we gonna have a problem?” She asks and steps even closer to Lance. “You’ve come so far, why now are you pulling on my dick?” Allura massages the bridge of his nose. “I could literally slap your face off, and everyone would just watch!” She shouted and got so closer to Lance, so he could feel Allura’s breath on his face. “So here’s some advice. Listen up biatch!” She shouted and turned her back to Lance, her hand on her hip. “If you actually lack the balls, you can just go play dolls with Dumptruck. Oh, and of course, your mommy would fix you something to eat.” She said mockingly and turned to look at Lance again.

“Or, you could come smoke, maybe pound some rum and coke, in my car with the others,” Allura says and rolls her eyes. “Students would fall at your feet to pay your check or help you cheat in a test,” Pidge says and steps to Allura’s left side. “Romelle’s not actually your friend! If she would have your shot, she would leave you to rot with the other nobodies!” Hunk exclaims and steps to Allura’s right side. “Think about it, you could join the team-” Allura smirks and Lance hugs himself. “Or you can go and bitch and moan about it…” Pidge says rolling her eyes. 

“You can literally live the dream with us!” Allura shouts and steps closer to Lance. “Or you can die alone, without ANYONE knowing who you are,” Hunk says and shrugs. Allura takes the note from Lance’s hands, and before he can protest. It’s already on Romelle’s hands. Lance gasps and looks at the Paladins. “You can fly with eagles with us, or if you prefer- keep on testing me. And end up like her!” Allura shouts as she sees Romelle coming their way.

The note is open on her hands, and she comes excitedly to Lance. “Lance look! James invited me to his homecoming party. This proves he’s been thinking about me.” Romelle says and shows the note to Lance. Lance’s breath stops for a second, and he thinks that he would rather be anywhere but here. Right now. Fooling her best friend. He’s just as bad as the other’s if he does this… but then again he would be nothing if he doesn’t do this. He takes a deep breath and smiles at Romelle.

“C- Color me stoked.” Lance stutters and gives thumbs up to her. Romelle smiles at him and brings the note to her chest. “I’m so happy!” She says and runs off to god knows where. “So, you gonna j-” “Shut up Pidge!” Allura shouts before she can finish her sentence, and she flinches and looks at the ground. “I see you want to be with us after all?” Allura asks and smirks at Lance.

Lance nods carefully and smiles at them. “Yeah- I want to.” He says and the Paladins all smile at him. They all head to the side to chill. But before Lance can even get there, a voice stops him. “You shouldn’t have bowed down to the swatch dogs and diet coke heads. They’re gonna crush that girl.” It says and Lance turns his head to that direction.

There stands a really, _really_ hot guy. Lance stares at him with wide open eyes for a moment, before coming back to himself. He clear his throat and shakes his head.

“I’m sorry what?” Lance asks and crosses his hands over his chest. “Look, you’ve clearly got a soul. You just need to work a little harder keeping it clean. We’re all born marked for evil.” He says and starts walking away until Lance grabs his wrist. “Okay. Um don’t just quote Baudelaire at me and walk away. Excuse me? I didn’t catch your name.” Lance says and let’s go of his wrist when he sees that he isn’t running away. He has a bored look on his face, and then he grins.

“I didn’t throw it.” He winks at Lance and goes to sit down on one of the tables. Lance is blushing bright red at this point, and he hides his face behind his books as he walks out of the spotlight to the side of the cafeteria where the others are. “Who does that jacket guy think he is anyway? Bo Diddley?” Ryan asks James annoyed, his hands in the pockets of his jacket.

James shrugs clearly annoyed too. “Lance’s into his act, no doubt,” James says and crosses his hands over his chest. “Let’s kick his ass!” Ryan cheers and James glares at him. “We’re seniors, man. We’re too old for that shit.” James rolls his eyes and walks over to the ‘Jacket Guy’ who is reading a book in peace.

“Hey, sweetheart!” Ryan says as he slaps his book down startling the jacket guy. “What’d your boyfriend say when you told him you were moving to Sherwood, Ohio?” Ryan continues and laughs at him, but stops when they don’t get an answer.

James slams his hand down on the table, and the jacket guy looks up at him. “My buddy Ryan just asked you a question,” James says and turns to Ryan once he doesn’t answer. “Hey, James. doesn’t this cafeteria have a “no fags allowed” rule?” Ryan asks teasingly, and James laughs. “It sure does.” He said and then the jacket guy gets up. “They seem to have an open-door policy for assholes, though.” He says and smirks. Ryan glares at him and then looks at James. “Hold his arms,” Ryan says as he cracks his neck.

James nods and goes to the jacket guy, but the jacket guy punches him in the gut. James wheezes and holds his stomach, while Ryan gets ready to fight. He runs to the jacket guy and punches him, but he blocks Ryan’s punch and punches Ryan to the jaw making Ryan stumble back before gaining his balance again. He gets ready to punch again, but the jacket guy kicks his legs under him and walks away. Leaving both James and Ryan to the ground beaten up.

Lance looks at him in awe. He likes to see people fight, even though it looks so horrible, it looks awesome at the same time. And that jacket dude didn’t get hit even once, and he looked so hot while doing it. Lance knows he shouldn’t watch something like that, that he should focus on the conversation with the Paladins, but he just couldn’t. Now Lance just wonders who is this no-name kid, who can fight like no one else he’s ever met. 

* * *

Now after school they’re all playing croquet at Lance’s place. As always, Allura is red, Pidge is green, Hunk is yellow and Lance is blue. Allura is winning (like always, cheater.).

“God Lance! You were practically throwing you underwear at that new kid.” Allura says and glares at Hunk and Pidge, who let out forced laughs. “And from the look of your house, you can’t afford replacement panties,” Allura says again and glares at Pidge and Hunk, who let out forced laughs again. Lance rolls his eyes and prepares to hit the ball. “Oh come on. I don’t even know his name!” Lance exclaims and hits the ball with a little too much force. “Mama! Papa! Look out!” He shouts and his mother barely dodges the ball, and sents a glare towards Lance, who smiles apologetically.

Mrs. and Mr. Sawyer come closer to the group. “You care for some pate?” Mrs. Sawyer asks, and Allura looks at the casserole on her hands. “That… isn’t pate. That’s liverwurst.” Allura says and Mrs. Sawyer laughs. “I know that Allura. It’s a family joke.” She says and laughs, and Allura lets out a forced laugh. “Funny” she mumbles. 

“Dammit! Can somebody tell me why I read these spy novels?” Mr. Sawyer asks and Lance scoffs. “Because you’re an idiot, papa.” Lance points out and Mr. Sawyer laughs and closes his book. “Oh yeah, that’s it.” He says. Mrs. Sawyer turns to look at the Paladins, and she smiles. “So... any plans for tonight?” She asks and Lance leans on his croquet bat. “A big homecoming party at James Sweeney’s house. I’m catching a ride with Allura.” Lance says and Mrs. Sawyer nods.

Allura coughs and looks at Lance. “Speaking of which…” She reminds and Lance nods. All the Paladins (except Lance) pick up their croquet balls and then start walking away. Lance turns to his mother and smiles at her. “Great pate, mama, but we better motor if we want to be ready for that party.” She nods and places a hand on his shoulder. 

“Don’t let the popular people change you.” She says and smiles sadly, Lance scoffs and shrugs her hand off his shoulder. “I need them.” He says and Mrs. Sawyer shakes her head. “For what? You have friends, you have Romelle!” She exclaims and Lance rolls his eyes and starts walking away from her. “Maybe I want more out of life than liverwurst!” He shouts and runs off. Mrs. Sawyer looks to his direction shaking her head and smiling sadly. “I think they seemed really nice.” Mr. Sawyer says and Mrs. Sawyer scoffs and starts walking back to inside.

* * *

Lance exits the car and starts walking to the 7-Eleven. “Lance, don’t forget to buy corn nuts! It’s not a party without them!” Allura shouts behind him, and Lance sighs. “Yes, Allura. Plain or BQ?” He shouts back. “BQ!!” Allura shouts and Lance mentally hangs her from the roof and dances on her grave. Lance walks inside and goes to the corn nut shelf. He takes the BQ corn nuts and starts walking to the cashier. He pays for the corn nuts and is about to leave but when he goes past the Slurpees, he hears a familiar voice.

“Greetings and salutations. You want a Slurpee with that?” He asks and Lance turns to him and smirks. “No, but if you’re nice I’ll let you buy me a big gulp.” Lance answers and his eyes open wide in surprise. “That’s like going to Mickey D’s to order a salad. Slurpee is the signature dish of the house. Did you say cherry or lime?” He asks and Lance rolls his eyes and puts a hand on his hip that is not holding Allura’s corn nuts. “I said big gulp. I’m Lance Sawyer, by the way. Were you ever gonna tell me your name?” Lance asks and he laughs. “I’ll end the suspense. Keith Dean.” Keith says and Lance smiles.

“So Keith, that thing you pulled in the caf was pretty severe,” Lance says and Keith shrugs and smirks at him. “The extreme always seems to make an impression,” Keith says and Lance chuckles. “So, what brings a Baudelaire-quoting badass like you to here?” Lance asks and Keith shrugs. “My dad’s work. He owns a deconstruction company.” Keith takes a sip of his Slurpee, and Lance raises an eyebrow.

“Deconstruction?” Lance repeats and Keith nods. “Yeah, the old man seems to enjoy tearing things down. You ever seen the commercial like.-” Keith puts his Slurpee to the side and stands up straight. “ ‘Well I’m big Bud Dean if it’s in the way, I’ll make your day!’ ” He makes hand moves as he’s talking and Lance’s eyes lit up. “Right, then he pulls the plunger and the screen blows up!” Lance says and Keith nods. “That’s your dad?” Lance asks in disbelief and Keith snorts. “In all his toxic glory.” Keith shakes his head. “Everyone’s life has got static,” Lance says and shrugs. “LANCE!” They hear Allura yell and Lance sighs. 

“Example: I don’t really like my friends,” Lance says and Keith takes another sip from his Slurpee. “I don’t like your friends either.-” Lance laughs and Keith smiles. “-Bag the party, hang here!” Keith says and Lance looks at him like he has two heads. “At the 7-Eleven? Swanky first date.” Lance says and Keith gasps in mock offense. “Hey! I love this place.” Keith says and Lance looks at him with wide-open eyes. “No offense… but why?” He asks and Keith shrugs.

“I’ve been through about 10 high schools, and I don’t really bother with anything. But in every town that we go, there’s always a 7-Eleven there.” Keith says and Lance hums and nods for him to continue. “Each store is the same from Las Vegas to Boston. So I just freeze my pain and get lost in the pain.” Keith says and Lance looks at him sympathetically. “I think happiness comes to me when everything else numbs.” Keith shrugs and takes a sip from his Slurpee. Keith offers the Slurpee for Lance to take, but Lance shakes his head and chuckles. “Does your mommy know you eat all this crap?” Lance asks and Keith smiles.

“Not anymore she doesn’t…” Keith says and Lance gasps as he realizes what Keith meant. He feels like an idiot for assuming this! Stupid, stupid Lance. “Sorry!” He says quickly. “When my mom was alive, we lived almost normal. Buut now it’s just me and my dad and we’re way less formal.” Lance puts a hand to his shoulder and smiles sadly at him. “I had to learn how to cook pasta and how to pay for rent. I learned that the world doesn’t really owe me a cent.” Keith shrugs Lance’s hand from his shoulder and looks at him grinning.

“You’re planning your future. You’ll probably go to some college and marry a lawyer. But believe me, the sky’s gonna hurt when it falls, so you’d better start building some walls.” Keith says and Lance scoffs. That was not his future plan, and he wasn’t going to “marry a lawyer”. “Go on, try it,” Keith says with a wink as he gives his slurpee to Lance. Lance rolls his eyes and sips from the straw and looks at Keith. “I don’t see what the big deal- OH SON OF A BITCH!” He shouts as the brain freeze is coming to him, he holds his head with one of his hand, and his face has a look of pain. Keith chuckles but stops when he sees Allura come in. Lance sees this too, and stand up straight and looks at him. “Lance! Corn nuts?” Allura asks and Lance nods giving him the corn nuts. “There Allura.” Allura rolls his eyes and looks at Keith from head to toe. “Wave bye-bye to Red dawn here and let’s motor.” She says and Lance nods and waves awkwardly at Keith, who waves back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is resigning his commission from the lip gloss gestapo and going back to civilian life

“Okay James. Have fun tonight, but I expect you to act your age. The Henshaw’s have the number to the cabin. If they call to complain, I’m gonna come back here and knock the sand out of your vagina.” James’ father Bill tells him, and he rolls his eyes and smirks. “Dude, what am I? 5?” James asks and Bill scoffs. “I’m your dad, not your ‘dude.’ ” James rolls his eyes, and Bill turns to Ryan’s dad Paul. “It goes for you too, Ryan. You’re a guest in Bill’s house, and you will treat him with respect.” He said sternly, and Ryan snickers. “Sure thing dude.” Ryan laughs and James joins him. Bill and Paul look at each other and nod. “Grab his arms,” Paul says and Ryan shrieks. Bill grabs Ryan’s arms, so he can’t escape. “Okay, okay it’s funny! I was kidding!” Ryan screams and kicks trying to get out of his hold. Paul gets closer and pushes him a little. “Who’s a big sissy?” He asks mockingly and Ryan shakes his head.

“I’m not a sissy!” He screams and Paul pushes him again. “Who’s a big sissy?” He asked again. “I get it, it’s funny!!” Ryan screams and Kicks Paul. Paul grunts and grins again. “You’re gonna wear a pretty, pretty dress!” He exclaims and Ryan sighs loudly. “Fine! I’m a sissy! I’m a big fat sissy!” Ryan screams and Bill let’s go of him. “Damn right you are. have fun at your party.” Paul says and James goes and helps Ryan up from the floor. “Punch it in!” Bill shouts before they exit the door, and slam it shut.

James and Ryan look at each other, and fist bump. “Man, that sucked…” Ryan says and James rolls his eyes. “Dude who cares?! The parents are gone and I got my party slippers on!” Ryan laughs and looks at James. “Boy, you get in here and give me some.” He shouts and they both cheer and turn their heads to the door when they hear it open. Soon everyone is there already, and the music is so loud that you can even hear your own thoughts in there. The Paladins and Lance are at the punch table getting their drinks.

James cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted, “dad said “act our age”, so it’s time to rage!” and people cheer for him. “Drink, smoke it’s all cool! You could even get naked in my pool!” he shouts again and people cheered louder. Lance is trying to make a drink with Hunk’s instructions. “Okay okay, so it’s salt, then lime and then shot?” Lance asks and puts them in that order when Hunk stops him. “No, it’s salt then sho-” “You’re doing it wrong!” Allura shouts and Lance flinches and looks over to her. “Really?” He asks and takes a sip of the drink. “Cause it's tastes great!” He shouts and Allura glares at him.

Then some dude comes behind him and slaps his ass. “Lance, you are looking good tonight!” He says and walks off somewhere. And Lance just stares at his direction. “Oh my god, a hot guy smiled at me without a trace of mockery!” he cheers and pumps his fist in the air. “My dreams are coming true when people laugh with me, not at me! I’m not alone or afraid!” Lance exclaims to Hunk, and he giggles. Lance then spots Allura and Pidge across the room and makes his way to them.

Ryan and James come to the center of the party with a pig piñata. “Alright people! What is Westerburg gonna do to the Razorbacks at Sunday’s game?!” Ryan shouts and hands the pig piñata to James. “Gonna make ‘em go whee! Whee! Whee!” James shouts as he grinds on to the piñata. “Way to show maturity!” Pidge shouts and James ditches the piñata and comes to Pidge to grind on her. “Quit it jackass! Get off of me!” She shouts but he just continues. Lance steps closer. “Yo! James emergency! I just saw some freshmen sneaking over the pool fence!” He shouts and James immediately stops and turns to look at Lance and then he’s on his way.

“I hate freshmen! Where are you little pricks? I’m coming for you!” He hears James shout before he loses him. Lance turns to Pidge. “Hey, are you okay?” Lance asks and Pidge glares at him and flips him off. “I didn’t need your help!” She shouts and Lance rolls his eyes and chuckles. “Aw, thanks for the finger Pidge. But I don’t really have to vomit right now.” Lance says and pushes her middle finger down. He walks back to Allura and Hunk and stands there listening to them talking.

When they both stop and gasp he looks up to them and sees that Pidge has joined them again. Then he looks over to where they’re staring at, and there’s Romelle. Oh no. “Romelle Dumptruck in the flesh,” Allura says and snickers. “Here comes the Cootie Squad. We should--” “Shut up Pidge!” Allura exclaims at her, “Sorry Allura.” and Lance leaves them to go talk to Romelle. “Look who’s with her - oh my god!” Hunk says and Allura crosses her arms over her chest.

“I can’t believe you actually came…” Lance says and Romelle smiles at him, with a bottle of nonalcoholic something on her hand. “It’s exciting, right? Oh, I want to say hello to James. I brought sparkling cider!” She exclaims and looks over to the room, where she spots James and starts walking over to him. Lance tries to stop him- he really did! But then he looked over to the Paladins and saw everyone glaring at him. He walked back to them and saw them all staring at Romelle and Ram. “Showing up here took some guts. Time to rip them out.” Allura says and Pidge laughs. Pidge takes the pig piñata and shows it to them. “Well, who’s this pig remind you of? Especially the snout!” She laughs and Allura snorts and puts her hand in her hip.

“Where the hell are those freshmen..?” James mumbles as he comes back inside, and Romelle grabs his wrist. “HI, James. I wasn’t gonna come, but since you took the time to write that sweet note I decided to drop by…” Romelle said and James looked at him weirdly and took the bottle she was offering him. “What note? Why d'you gotta be so weird all the time? People wouldn’t hate you so much if you acted normal…”James said and took the cap off of the bottle, and took a sip. His eyes widen at the taste, and he spits it out. He glares at Romelle and then at the bottle before he speaks. “There’s not even alcohol in here! Are you trying to poison me?!” James shouts and pushes the bottle back to Romelle. Romelle stares at him with wide eyes. Why did he ask what note? She’s clearly talking about the note he gave her…

“Okay, Westerbergers! Time to celebrate our victory over the Razorbacks by wacking apart their mascot!” Allura shouts and everyone cheers at her. “We need a volunteer to take the first swing at the piñata!” Hunk shouted and Allura smirked at him. “Romelle Dunnstock! I think you should do the honors.” She said and Pidge dragged Romelle to the spotlight. “I don’t really know this game…” Romelle admits and Pidge smirks too.

“Let’s show this girl some Westerberg spirit!” Hunk shouts and gives Romelle a croquet mallet to hit the piñata, and then he puts a blindfold on her. Allura spins her around a few times, and then she stops her when they bring a pig piñata dressed as Romelle in front of her. “Romelle!Romelle!Romelle!” They all cheer, but when Lance saw the piñata he lost it. “No! Give me the pig!” He shouts and takes the pig, but Pidge is right on her tail. Pidge glares at him, and tries to get the pig back but doesn’t succeed. “You gotta give it back, Lance come on!” Pidge shouted at her Lance glared at her, and looked over to the pool. “You want it? Swim for it!” He throws the pig to the pool, and Pidge gasps. Romelle takes the blindfold off and looks confused.

Lance walks to her and places a hand on her shoulder. “Go home, come on!” Lance says and Romelle looks over to the pool. “But what about the piñata?” She asks and Lance sighs. “Go home, I’ll explain everything later.” He says and Romelle nods, and pushes her way through the people. Lance goes to Allura and glares at her. “Well, we gave it a shot. I’m resigning my commission from the lip gloss gestapo and going back to civilian life.” Lance exclaims and Allura laughs. “no!” She shouts as she pushes Lance back a bit.

“Don’t push me Allura, I’m not feeling well,” Lance says but Allura doesn’t care, and pushes him again, so he’s sitting on the ground with one hand in front of his mouth and one holding his stomach. “You don’t get to be a nobody! Come Monday, you’re an ex-somebody! Not even the losers are gonna touch you now. You can transfer to Washington and you can transfer to Jefferson, but NO ONE at Westerberg is gonna let you play their reindeers games.” Allura shouts at him and Lance can’t hold it in anymore.

He pukes on Allura’s shoes. When he realized what he’s done, he immediately got up and looked at Allura, who looked at her shoes eyes wide open. Then she looked at Lance and screamed, “AHH! I raised you from NOTHING! And this is my thanks?! I get paid in puke?!” She screams and steps out of the puke puddle under her, and glares at Lance. Lance sighs and smirks. “Lick it up, baby! Lick. It. Up.” He says and Allura takes a deep breath to calm him down. “I know who I’m eating lunch with on Monday. Do you?!” Allura asks and starts walking inside. “Okay party people! Where is the goddam keg?” She shouts and gets inside with everyone.

* * *

Lance sighs and walks out of there. This is it. He worked so hard, and this is what he gets? Well if working is being a huge bitch to Romelle and to everyone else then yeah, he worked hard. What the hell is he supposed to do now?

He’s walking down the streets, and the only light he can get is from the streetlights. He sits down at a bench, on a bus stop when he gets an idea. He could go to Keith’s. He was up for hanging out earlier, why not now. Well maybe because It’s late at night and he’s probably asleep but WHO cares? Not, Lance, that’s who. He just has to figure out his address.

Don’t ask him how but he did it. He starts walking towards the address, and when he gets there he notices that a room at the 2nd floor has a light on. Maybe it’s Keith’s? Lance climbs up a ladder that is placed under the window. When he’s at the top, he looks in and just as he thought (wanted) there’s Keith shirtless doing maybe some homework on his desk. Lance knocks on the window and Keith almost jumps out of his chair, then looks at the window and he visibly relaxes. He comes and opens the window for Lance to get in. “Lance? What are you doing here?” He asks and Lance puts his finger onto his lips as a sign to shut up. “Shh, sorry but I really had to get here... I'm in the mood of riding you till you break... You up for it?” Lance says and winks when he sees Keith blush. “‘Cause Allura says I got to go, and I honestly don’t wanna go down as a virgin, so…” He says and Keith smirks and steps closer to him. Lance’s eyes flicker from Keith’s eyes to his lips, before he pushes his lips to meet Keith’s.

* * *

Keith’s head rolls back into the pillow as Lance sinks down onto him, engulfing Keith in tight, slick heat. Lance can’t hold back all of the moaning and panting as he takes in more of him. Keith’s hands are holding his hips hard. Keith’s grip is iron; he’d probably leave bruises. Lance looks down at the body under him, and pauses to get used to Keith inside him. It was a bit weird, but it started feeling better and better by time. He is leaning forward, one hand grasping Keith’s chest as his body curved and his chest heaved. He runs his other hand through his short hair.

His eyes are closed and his long eyelashes brush over his flushed cheeks. His face softens in bliss as he settles all his weight on Keith and sat fully in his lap. Then he begins moving, barely taking any time to get used to the stretch. Keith snaps out of his stupor as he begins lifting himself off slowly, weight shifting as he leans into his hand on Keith's chest. Lance’s free hand rests on Keith’s stomach, caressing his toned abdomen. He sinks down again on his length Keith’s hips buck up to meet him, tearing a sound from the other’s lips that has Keith’s dick twitching.

He shifts his hands to grip Lance’s lean upper thighs as the Cuban boy leans forward. He grips both of Keith’s shoulders like a vice, his body arching as Keith begins to thrust hard and fast into him. It felt so overwhelming and so good at the same time. Something he’s never felt before. Keith’s gaze is intent on Lance bouncing and grinding and undulating on his lap, it took everything he has not to close his eyes and release, but he is determined to last. Luckily for him, Keith is already getting that hot feeling on his lower abdomen, and he isn’t going to last much longer.

Lance collapses onto him as he came, releasing over Keith’s hand and both of their stomachs. The beautiful moan that leaves Lance’s lips, made Keith release inside Lance in the condom. Lance softly moans at the feeling and lifts himself off of Keith. They both groan at the feeling and Keith takes the condom off and throws it in the trashcan next to his desk. Lance cuddles to Keith’s side, and Keith puts an arm around his waist. Keith pulls his blanket over the both of them, and Lance snuggles closer to Keith.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance makes a huge mistake, and Keith knows just how to handle it.

Lance wakes up to a voice on his side of the room. He can’t immediately point out where he is, but once he can his face turn bright red. He can’t believe that he lost his virginity to a stranger! He doesn’t know that much about Keith. “Hello, slut.” He hears a very familiar voice say and when he turns to the voice's direction he sees Allura -fucking- Chandler standing there, with a red robe on her. Lance looks around him. “How did you get in here?!” He exclaims and Allura giggles.

“I’m like oxygen: I’m everywhere,” Allura says and steps closer to Lance. “But really, Lance? Sleeping with psycho trenchcoat kid? I will crucify you for this. Everyone in the ~~~~school is gonna know that the “good little Lance Sawyer “ is nothing but a dirty whore.” Allura says and laughs. Lance glares at him. “Why are you so determined to hurt me?” Allura stops laughing and looks at him like he has two head, then he smiles. “Because I can. It’ll be so very.” Allura laughs and points at him. “You are a slut, Lance.” Then Allura disappears into thin air.

“AHHHH!” Lance screams as Keith is shaking him by his shoulders. “Lance! You’re soaking wet!” Keith exclaims and Lance starts calming down. “It was just a dream…” He mumbles and gets up from the bed. He picks up his boxers and puts them on, and starts to look for his other clothes. “What’s the rush?” Keith asks and Lance looks at him and sighs. “I gotta get to Allura’s.” He says as he pulls his blue-white gingham patterned trousers up, and pulls on white his button-up shirt.

Keith raises an eyebrow. “Why? I thought you were done with Allura.” Keith says and Lance puts on his blue blazer. “Yeah, and it was a sweet fantasy. A world without Allura, a world where everyone is free!” He exclaims throwing his hands up in the air, and then he closes his blazer’s buttons. “But now it’s morning, and I have to go kiss her aerobicized ass,” Lance says and Keith gets up too. “Let me come with,” Keith says and puts on his boxers. “Really?!” Lance asks and looks at him in disbelief. Keith nods. “Y’know, for backup.” He says and puts on his casual outfit. Lance nods and smiled at him. “Okay, thanks!” He says and follows Keith out of his room and his house.

* * *

Lance opens the door and starts looking around. “Allura?!” He shouts and gets no response, Keith looks at him and shrugs. “Maybe she’s not home?” Keith proposes and Lance gives him a soft glare. “Trust me, she skips the Saturday morning trip to Grandma’s even when she’s not hungover.” Keith looks at him weirdly and smiles while shaking his head.

Lance cups his mouth and shouts, “Allura?!”. “WHAT?” Allura shouts from upstairs and Lance rolls his eyes. “It’s me, Lance! I’m here to apologize,” he shouts again and this time he can hear laughing from upstairs. “Well, I hope you brought your kneepads bitch! Fix me a prairie oyster and I’ll think about it!” Allura shouts, and Lance starts making his way to the kitchen with Keith behind him.

“Prairie oyster… what’s in that? Raw egg, vinegar-” Lance mumbles and Keith puts his hand on his waist. “Worchester, hot sauce, salt, and pepper.” Keith continues and Lance looks up at him with wide eyes. “You know your hangover cures.” Lance teases and gets a cup from the cabinets. Keith shrugs. “My dad taught me all kinds of stuff,” Keith says and starts going through the cabinets looking what Allura has.

“Okay here’s my revenge: I’ll drop a phlegm glob in her prairie oyster. She’ll never know!” Lance exclaimed and put it in the drink, and Keith took some bleach to the kitchen level. “Y’know, I’m more of a “no rust build up” man myself,” Keith says and winks and Lance who rolls his eyes. “Don’t be a dick, that stuff will kill her!” Lance glares at him and Keith shrugs. “Thus ending her handover. I say we go with Drain-out.” Keith pours bleach to a similar cup. “What are you doing? You can’t just… besides Allura would never drink anything that looks like that.” Lance sighs and Keith frowns.

“So we use a mug, she won’t know what she’s drinking,” Keith says, as he takes a white non see trhough mut and poies the bleach in it. Lance rolls his eyes. “Forget it,” Keith smirks. “Chicken!” Keith exclaims and Lance glares at him. “You’re not funny!” Lance exclaims and Keith sighs. “Okay, I’m sorry,” Keith says and brings his hands up in surrender. “Prairie oyster! Chop-Chop!” Allura shouts from upstairs again, and Lance sighs deeply. Lance takes a mug, not thinking much about it and starts walking away from the kitchen. “Lance you- !” Keith starts but stops when Lance turns to look at him. “I what?” He asks and Keith shakes his head. “Nothing, just uh… good luck.” Keith says and Lance nods at him, continuing his way to Allura’s bedroom.

They enter the bedroom and see Allura lying there with her red robe, and her hair tied up in a ponytail with her red scrunchie. “Morning Allura,” Lance says and Allura sits up on her bed and frown.“Lance, and Jesse James. Quelle surprise. Well, let’s get to it. Beg.” Allura says waving her hands in the air and Lance steps closer to her. “Look, we both said things we didn’t mean last night and-”

“I’d actually prefer if you did this on your knees. In front of your _boy toy_ here.” Allura interrupts and motions over to Keith. Lance rolls his eyes. “Yeah. Anyhow, look, I’m really sorry.” Lance says but Allura waves for him to stop. “Do I look like I’m kidding? Down!” She scoffs and motions for Lance to bow down, and then she smiles when he does. Lance is kneeling in front of her and offering the “prairie oyster” to her.

“Nice, but you’re still dead to me,” Allura says and takes the mug from Lance, and starts drinking it. Lance gets up from the floor, and Allura’s eyes widen. She starts coughing while holding her throat and stutters, “C- corn nuts”. She drops the mug to the floor, while she drops herself to the floor, dead. “Holy crap!” Keith exclaims fakely, and Lance gasps. “Don’t just stand there! Call 911” Lance shouts and drops to her knees, while Keith checks her pulse. “It’s a little late for that…” He mumbles and Lance starts shaking Allura from her shoulders.

Lance’s whole world comes crashing down. He’s not a murderer… right? He didn’t kill Allura… at least on purpose! It- It wasn’t his fault!

“Allura! ALLura! ALLURA wake up! Oh my god…” Lance gasps and let’s go of Allura’s shoulders and back away a little. “I just killed my best friend!” Lance shouted and hugged his knees to his chest. “And your worst enemy.” Keith points out and Lance glares at him.

“Same difference!” Lance shouts and sits cross-legged on the ground. “The police are gonna think I did this on purpose! They’re gonna have to send my SAT scores to San Quentin!” he freaks out, and Keith starts looking around. Keith picks up a book and shows it to Lance. “Unless… look, she was reading The Bell Jar.” Keith says and puts the book next to Allura’s body, and Lance gasps. “Oh no!” Lance glares at Keith and Keith smirks.

“Oh yes! You can fake her handwriting, right?” Keith asks, and Lance nods. Keith gives him a pen and a piece of paper. “Make her sound deep, like this: I have paid my path, like Sylvia Plath, my problems were myriad-” “I was having my period!” Lance exclaims and starts laughing while Keith glares at him. “OH MY GOD!” Lance shouts as he realizes that there’s an actual corpse right next to him. “This is serious! You could go to jail, get your head on straight now!” Keith shouts and Lance nods and takes a deep breath.

“Allura would never use the word “myriad” okay? She missed it on her vocabulary quiz.” Lance says and Keith nods in thought. “So it’s a badge for her failures at school. Work with me!” Keith exclaims and Lance sighs. “Okay.” Lance takes a deep breath. “Think. Long and Hard. Conjure her up in your mind. What would she say? What’s her final statement to a cold and uncaring planet?” Keith asks and Lance puts his pen down on the paper and starts writing. “ “Dear world, believe it or not. I wasn’t really happy. I knew exactly how it felt to be lonely, and I knew how it stung. I always hid behind smiles and my crazy hot clothes. That’s the whole reason why I even learned to kiss boys with my tongue.” “

“That’s good,” Keith says and sits next to Lance to see him writing. “ “but the world held me down. It weighed like a concrete prom queen crown. No one thought a pretty girl had feelings, no one got my insecurities. I was more than a pretty face and a flaming hot body. No one saw the me inside of me.” “ Lance chuckles, and Keith rolls his eyes. “Keep going, this has to be good enough to fool the cops!“ Keith exclaims, and Lance nods and gets back to writing.

* * *

Cop Milner is kneeling over the body, and he picks up the “suicide note”. Then Cop McCord comes behind him and asks, “Whoa, is it murder?”. Milner shakes his head and shows him the note. “No, look. Here’s a suicide note.” McCord takes the note from his hand and starts reading it. “ “They couldn’t see past my rockstar mystique, no one would actually dare to look in my eyes. But underneath everything, there was a terrified girl who clung to her pillow and cried. My looks were like a prison, they left me a myriad of scars.” “ McCord finishes and hands the note over to Milner. “ “No one thought a pretty girl had substance. That was the curse of popularity. No one saw the me inside of me.” ” Milner finishes and looks up to McCord.

* * *

Principal Iverson was sitting at the head of the table, and the rest of the teachers around it. “ “I was more than just a source of handjobs.” “ Principal Iverson finishes reading the note and looks around the table. “Allura Chandler is not your everyday suicide.” Everyone nods in agreement, and Coach Shiro speaks. “You should cancel classes” He proposes and Principal Iverson shakes his head. “No way, Coach. I send the kids home before lunch and the switchboard will light up like a Christmas tree.” Mr. Coran stands up and slams his hand on the table.

“Our children are dying! What this school need is a good old-fashioned rap session. I suggest we get everyone into the cafeteria to just talk and feel, together!” He says and Principal Iverson leans back to his chair. “Thank you, Mr. Coran. Call me when the shuttle lands.“ Principal Iverson says, and everyone but Mr. Coran starts laughing. “Go ahead, laugh at the mustache guy. I’m telling you, we all misjudged Allura Chandler. Myself included. Have you read this suicide note? Really, read it.” Mr. Coran says and hands out copies to everyone around the table. Principal Iverson leans to coach Shiro and whispers, “He made copies?”. Coach Shiro looks at him and shrugs. Mr. Coran clears his throat and begins to read the note.

“ “Box up my clothing for Goodwill, and give the poor my Nordic track. Donate my car to crippled kids, or to those ghetto moms on drugs. Give them my hats, and my CDs. Also, give them my shoes and my three TVs. No one thought that I had any feelings, and I weep for all I failed to be. Maybe I can help the world by leaving, and so this is my goodbye.” “ Mr. Coran finishes and wipes a tear from his eye. “Aw, hell. Long weekend for everybody!” Principal Iverson announces through his microphone and Mr. Coran snatches it from him. “Not so fast, kids! They’re refueling the busses, which gives us a solid half-hour of healing.”

* * *

They’re all sitting at the cafeteria, and Mr. Coran is in the middle with the copies of the suicide note.”Now, I have mimeographed copies of the suicide note so you can feel Allura’s anguish.” He says and starts handing the copies to the student. “I never knew that she felt this way!” One of the students shouts and Mr. Coran nods cheerfully. “Go on!” He shouts and another one shouts, “Her life had hit a rocky path!” Mr. Coran starts smiling. “Feel!”  
“I think deep down she wasn’t cruel or vain!” Another one shouts and Mr. Coran cheers again. ”Heal!” He shouts and encourages them to step up. “She didn’t mean to be a snatch!” Someone shouts and Mr. Coran turns to Lance.

“Lance, you’re very quiet. What’s on your mind?” Mr. Coran asks, and Lance’s eyes open wide. “Uhh… maybe Allura realized thaat in order to be happy… She had to give up her “power”...” Lance makes air quotes with his hand and continues. “And that the only way to do that… was uh death..?” He finishes and Mr. Coran looks at him in shock. “My God, look what I’ve done! We’re breaking through! Allura would be so proud of you!” Mr. Coran exclaims and Lance smiles awkwardly. Mr. Coran Smiles widely, and tells them that the students are now allowed to leave.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge Duke seems to be on every news channel talking about Allura.

Keith and Lance are cuddling on Keith’s couch watching TV. Keith switches the channel to a news channel, and Pidge Duke is on the screen.

**“In time’s like these, people choose to focus on their grief. Well, I hate those people because I’m a very positive person. I still remember the good old times, like when Allura and I got our ears pierced at the mall.”**

Keith switches to another news channel, and Pidge is again on the screen. Now she’s wearing different clothing though.

**“I can still remember those late-night phone calls.”**

Keith changes the channel again.

 **“Une fois qu'Allura a vomi sur moi, c'était génial.”** (Once she vomited on me, it was great.)

Keith starts going through all the news channel one after another.

 **“...Allura Chandler. Personne ne pourrait la haïr-”** (Nobody could hate her-)

 **“彼女が死んだのは悲しいことだ。 私は彼女を姉妹として愛した。”** (It’s really sad that she died, I loved her like a sister.)

 **“Ze hield van corn nuts.”** (She loved corn nuts.)

“Ugh, turn it off! Turn it off!” Lance exclaims and Keith shuts the TV off. “How many channels did she run into?!” Keith asks and Lance shrugs and sighs. “Don’t know, but how does she even know so many different languages?” Lance asks and then Keith’s dad comes into the living room.

“ “Young man, I didn’t hear you come in!” “ Keith says and his dad chuckles. “ “Hey dad, how was work today?” It was miserable. Some damn tribe of withered old bitches trying to stop me from blowing up this fleabag hotel all because Glenn Miller and his band once took a dump there.” He informs and raises an eyebrow. “Just like Kansas. Do you remember Kansas?” He asks and Keith nods. “The one with the wheat, right?” Keith asks and his dad smiles and gives a thumb up. “Save the Memorial Oak Society. Showed those tree humpers 30 brick of C4 explosives strapped to the trunk. Arraigned but acquitted. Goddamn Kansas.“ Keith’s dad rambles and then he notices Lance.

“ “Gee, pop! I almost forgot to introduce my boyfriend.” “ He says and Keith rolls his eyes. “Lance, this is my dad. Big Bud Dean. Dad, this is Lance.” Keith introduces them and Big Bud Dean nods. “Hello!” Lance greets cheerily and Big Bud Dean smiles. “Nice to meet you, Lance.” Lance smiles at him. “ “Well son, why don’t you ask your little friend to stay for dinner?” “ Keith says and turns to Lance, who smiles at him. “Umm.. I can’t. My mom’s making my favorite meal tonight. Spaghetti! With lots of oregano…” Lance says trailing off at the end and Keith nods.

“Oh, that's nice. The last time I saw my mom, she was waving at me from a window in a library in Texas, right dad?” Keith asks bitterly and his dad gulps. “Right, son…” Lance gets up and gathers his things. “Okay… Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then.” Lance says and waves to them, and they wave back. “See you.”

Well, that was weird. At least Lance knows, that Keith’s dad will NOT be speaking at their wedding. Hell, he might not be even invited.

Lance gets pulled out of his thought when his phone starts ringing. He picks it up and sees that Hunk is calling him. What on earth…

“Hello?” Lance asks and he can hear heavy breathing on the other side of the line. “Lance, I need help! I’m at the cemetery.” Hunk says and Lance rolls his eyes. What trouble could there be in the cemetery? “What’s wrong..?” He asks anyway and hears Hunk’s breath of relief. “Just hurry up, please! It’s an emergency!” Hunk says and hangs up. Lance puts his huge ass phone back to his pocket and starts making his way to the cemetery.

* * *

Lance runs to Hunk who’s leaning on the door of his car and sees Ryan lying on the ground unconsciously. “Is Ryan okay?” Lance asks and Hunk nods. “He passed out. Me and Kurt and Ram and Pidge came to pour a jug of Thunderbird on Allura’s grave, you know. From her homies.” Hunk explains, then he sighs and crosses his arms on his chest. “But Ryan and James drank it all! James and Pidge went off together, and then Ryan started grabbing me and he wouldn’t stop.” Hunk says and Lance raises an eyebrow. “After everything happened at James’ party, why did you call me?” Lance asks and Hunk smiles innocently. “Well, that was the deal. If I got you here, Ryan promised to leave me alone.” He said and Lance’s eyes open wide. “So you avoided date rape by volunteering me for date rape?” Lance asks furiously, and Hunk looks at him guiltily.

“God, you make it sound ugly.” Hunk comments and Lance grunts. “That’s because it is ugly! I’m leaving now.” Lance says and is about to leave when he hears a moan of pain behind him. When he turns he sees that Ryan isn’t unconscious anymore, but very much awake, sitting there and staring at him. “Heyyy Lance! I waited 10 whole beers for you!” Ryan exclaims and Lance rolls his eyes. Again when he’s about to leave, James and Pidge come back from their adventure. “Goddammit James, I said I’m done! Sober up, you idiot.” Pidge cries out and walks over to Hunk who’s already sitting at the driver seat.

“Hunk, open the door.” Pidge commands and Hunk opens the door for her to get in, and then locks it again. James goes and hits the window a few times and shouts, “Don’t leave me! You can’t stop now, my balls are like this big hydroelectric dam and there’s a rives of pressure that keeps building up and it really hurts!” James sighs and leans his back to the car door, and slides down to sit on the ground. “It’s science you know? You like science don’t you?!” James shouts and looks around with a frown, and when he spots Lance he smirks. “Well, heyyyyyyy Lance,” James says and winks. Lance rolls his eyes and scoffs. “Ew, you got a left hand: use it.”

Ryan comes closer to Lance and pouts. “Don’t talk mean like that!” He complains and James nods. “You’re gonna hurt their feeling.” James adds and Lance looks at him confused. “Who’s feelings?” He asks and James shrugs. “Why don’t you find out?” He says and takes Lance’s hand and puts it above his groin. Lance quickly takes his hand back and glares at James. “You’re making our balls blueee…” Ryan says and Lance quickly goes over to Hunk’s car. Lance knocks on the window and shouts, “Hunk? Pidge..? Open the door!”. Pidge and Hunk both shake their heads. “Nope.” Lance groans. “Open the doOR!” Lance shouts again and Pidge smirks and shakes his head.

“Come on, you have to help them!” Ryan exclaims and Lance takes the half-empty beer bottle from next to the car. “Look! Booze. Drink!” Lance shouts and gives the bottle to Ryan who smiles gratefully. “Aww, thank you so much Lance!” He says and winks at Lance, who rolls his eyes. “C’ mon! You’re the reason my balls are so blue! You have to help me get a release.” James says smirking and Lance pushes him so he’s sitting on the ground. “That’s it. Fuck you.” Lance says and starts walking fastly away from the cemetery, leaving both Pidge and Hunk in the car and the drunk assholes lying on the ground.

* * *

_October 1st, 1988. Dear Diary:_

_Close call last night. Turns out, Allura Chandler was the only person at Westerburg who could actually control James and Ryan, and now she’s dead._

Lance sighs. “Well look who’s having second thoughts.” Lance looks to that direction and sees- Allura sitting on her bed with the same clothes she was killed in. She sitting with one leg over the other on the edge of the bed, and she’s checking her nails. Lance sighs and shakes his head, and when he looks again she’s gone.

_Technically, I did not kill Allura. I know that, but I still feel bad. Not as bad as I should, and that makes it worse!_

* * *

Lance walks to Hunk and Pidge who are at Allura’s locker. “Hey guys, I’m really looking forward to your apology for being such ice-cold bitches last night,” Lance says and Pidge glares at him. “Um, cleaning Allura’s locker. A little bit of respect!” Pidge exclaims and goes back to snooping Allura’s stuff.

Then Allura’s ghost appears next to Pidge again. And she’s trying to hit Pidge. Allura turns to Lance and looks at him. “Pidge Duke is such a little poser.” She says and puts her hand on her hip. Allura gasps when she sees Pidge hold up one of her keychains and she turns to Lance again. “Lance, tell her to stop touching my stuff! Lance? Lance!” She keeps shouting her name, and Lance covers his ears. “Shut up!” Pidge turns to him holding Allura’s red scrunchie on her hand. “You shut up! I don’t have to shut up anymore!” She shouts and looks at the scrunchie again.

“Hey, that’s Allura’s scrunchie!” Hunk exclaims, and Pidge rolls her eyes. “Shut up Hunk. Allura Chandler is gone, and it’s up to me to replace her.” Pidge says and ties her hair in a low side ponytail with the scrunchie. Next to Lance, Allura’s ghost gasps. “Replace Allura?” Lance asks and Allura rolls her eyes. Keith also appears behind him and puts his hand on Lance’s waist. “Please, as if that bitch could replace me.” Allura scoffs and Pidge grins.

“You should be worrying less about me, and more about your reputation. James and Ryan have been telling the whole school about your little three-way last night.” Pidge says and Keith looks at Lance. “Three-way?” He asks and Lance shakes his head. “There was no three-way! Nothing happened!” Pidge turns her whole body to face Keith and Lance. “I remember differently. I seem to remember there was a-” “Swordfight in his mouth!” James comes shouting and Pidge grins. “Oh? Is that so?” She asks and Ryan comes behind James. Ryan and James both nod. “Yup, we both had a huge swordfight in his mouth!” Ryan exclaims and James nods. “Yup, it was his idea after all,” James smirks and Lance glares at him.

“Oi, cut it out!” Keith shouts and steps protectively in front of Lance. “Pussy!” Ryan shouts at him and Keith glares at him. “You’re a sluuuut!” James shouts behind Ryan and they both run off with the two Paladins. Keith turns to Lance, who’s on the edge of tears. “Hey, are you okay?” Lance asks and Keith nods, “What about you?”. “Awesome... I’m sorry,” Lance says and falls to his knees, and starts wiping his tears. Keith kneels next to him and puts an arm around him. “It’s going to be okay,” Keith assures him and he clings to Keith’s trench coat like his life depended on it.

“They made you cry… but that will end tonight, I promise! You’re the only thing that’s right about this broken world. So go on and cry, I’ll be there for you.” Keith says and Lance looks up to him, “Are you sure you’re okay?”. “I was all alone before I met you... And look, now I’m crying too, you’re not alone in this.” Keith says and wipes his own tears, while Lance gets up and Keith follows. “You’re not alone either,” Lance says and hugs Keith, and Keith hugs back. “So what did you have in mind for “that will end tonight”?” Lance asks smiling, and Keith smiled back.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan and James got a little more than a three-way with Lance.

“Here goes nothing…” Lance mumbles and presses the call button. “Yeah, Sawyer?” Ryan asks on the other side of the line, and Lance smiles. “Hi Ryan, how would you feel if I said that I would be willing to make the "swordfight" thing into reality?” Lance asks and he hears some whispering from Ryan’s side of the line.

“S-sure…” Ryan says and Lance smirks. “Great, if you want it to actually come true. Meet me at the cemetery, at dawn.” Lance says and hangs up. He then turns to Keith, who’s holding a gun. “Whoa. Is that real?” Lance asks and Keith nods, sitting down on the bed. “Yeah, but we’re filling it with “Ich Lüge” bullets.” Keith laughs when he sees Lance’s expression. “Ich lüge…? What?” He asks and Keith smiles.

“My grandad scored them in World War II. They contain this powerful tranquilizer. The Nazis used them to fake their own suicides when the Russians invaded Berlin. We will use them to knock James and Ryan out long enough to make it looks like a suicide pact. Completed with a forged suicide note:” Keith holds up a piece of paper, and starts reading it out loud, “James and I died because we had to hide out gay forbidden love from our disapproving parents.” Lance snorts at the note, and Keith smiles at him. “Well then, let’s go hunt some jocks,” Lance says and Keith nods, off from the bed.

* * *

“Hi, Lance,” Ryan says. “So… do we just whip it out or what?” James asks and Lance chuckles, “Take it slow James. Strip for me.” Lance says and both guys nod and start taking off their clothes. When they're only in their underwear, Ryan becomes curious. “What about you?” He asks and Lance gulps. “Uh, well. I was hoping you could rip my clothes off me, sport..?” Lance says and James and Ryan nod. “Yeah, we can do that!” Ryan exclaims and Lance laughs. Both the jocks move closer to Lance, and they start counting.

“One…” To say that Lance is nervous would be an underestimate.

“Two…” Lance doesn't even know why agreed he to this... faking a suicide? Really?

“Th-” Wait how is that even possible? They're gonna check their bodies anyway. Well whatever, Keith probably figured something out.

“Three.” Keith comes out of his hiding spot and shoots James on his neck. Lance tries to shoot at Ryan but misses. “HOLY CRAP!” Ryan shouts and starts running away. “Stay here, I’ll get him,” Keith informs and Lance nods at him, going closer to James. “You just killed my best friend!” Ryan shouts and Lance starts shaking James. “James?” He asks and hears Ryan shouting, “Why are you chasing me?!”. Lance starts shaking James harder, and fear starts taking over him. If James is dead, he would be a murderer. Well, at least an associate on murder. Oh no, this is bad.

“Get off the fence! Get off the damn fence!” Keith shouts and Ryan starts shaking hysterically. “I don’t understand!” He shouts and Keith points his gun at him. “You’ve done some awful things, Ryan.” Keith mumbles and Ryan starts shaking his head. “Stop being a dick!” Ryan shouts and Keith chuckles. “You’re saying that to me?” Keith asks and starts actually laughing. “What does that mean?!” Ryan shouts and Keith shrugs. “Whatever you want it to mean.” Then Keith shoots and _he_ doesn’t miss.

Lance comes behind him and sees as Ryan falls off the fence- lifeless. “What the fuck have you done?!” He shouts and falls to his knees, tears falling out of his eyes. He feels sick. “I worship you, I would do anything for you. I love you, Lance! They were mean to you, they were ruining your life!” Keith shouts and steps closer to Lance, and Lance crawls away from him.

“No! You are ruining my life!” Lance shouts.

* * *

_October 2nd, 1988. Dear Diary:_

_Keith’s mostly awesome, maybe a bit too much “rock and roll”. But since he arrived here, he’s killed three, THREE of my classmates. They weren’t the nicest, but they didn’t deserve to go like that. They were just 17. They still had room to grow, they_ could _have turned out amazing, and now we’ll never know._

“There’s been a distinct lack of boys climbing through my bedroom window lately.” Lance looks up and sees Keith. He scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Take the hint,” Lance says and gets up to leave, but Keith grabs his arm. “I get it. You’re mad-”  
“No, I don’t think you do. Ich Lüge bullets? Really? That’s just “I lie” in German! You lied to me!” Lance shouts and Keith grabs his arms harder. “You were lying to yourself! You wanted them dead too!” Keith exclaims and Lance yanks his arm out of Keith’s grip.

“I did not!” “Did too!” “Did not!” “Did too!” “Did not!” “Did they make you cry?” Keith asks and Lance glares at him. “Yes?” Keith smiles. “Can they make you cry now?” He asks and Lance rolls his eyes. “No, but you can,” Lance says and Keith’s smile drops. “Just wait ‘till you see the good that comes out of this.” Keith states and Lance looks at him confused. “What good could possibly come out of this?!” Lance screams and Keith shrugs. “Call me an optimist.”

_Dear Diary:_

_My teenage angst bullshit now has a body count._

* * *

“I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to say up here… I’m ashamed, of course. My family’s turned this town into a laughingstock. My boy Ryan? Not the man I thought he was. When I think of the sick, disgusting things that Ryan and James we do-”

“Wait just a minute Paul! It is ignorant, hateful talk like yours that makes this world a place our boys could not live in!” Bill shouts and everyone gasps. Bill goes to where Paul is standing next to James’ and Ryan’s coffins. “They weren’t dirty or wrong! They were just two lonely verses in the Lord’s great song!” Bill exclaims and Paul glares at him.

“Our boys were pansies, Bill!” Paul shouts and Bill nods. “Yes! My boy was a homosexual, and that don’t scare me none. I just want everyone here to know that-” Bill turns to the funeral guests and smiles sadly. “-I love my dead gay son!” Bill exclaims. “I’ve been thinking. Praying. Reading some magazines. And it’s time we open our eyes!” Bill says and turns to Paul. “Paul, I can’t believe that you still refuse to get it! After all that we’ve been through- I’m talking about the fishing trip in the summer of’83!” Bill says and Paul and starts thinking. “That was one hell of a fishing trip..”

* * *

The funeral guest left, and Lance sits alone on the stairs that lead to the church. “What is that I smell in the air? Tolerance? Inclusion? Love? You know how often can you say it’s a good day to live in Westerberg, Ohio? You’re welcome, town.” Keith says and sits next to Lance. Lance looks at him and then looks at his feet again.

“You don’t have to be so smug about it…” Lance mumbles and Keith chuckles. “Your love keeps me humble. So, who’s next? Pidge Duke? She started that three-way rumor. I’ve taken the liberty of underlining meaningful passages in her copy of Moby Dick if you know what I mean.” Keith says and Lance’s head comes up. “No!” He shouts and glares at Keith. “No, I do not accept this! Three people dead, that’s enough! This ends now.” Lance shouts and stands up. Keith looks up at him and raises an eyebrow. “Or what?” He asks and Lance glares at him. “Or I’m breaking up with you.”

“Look, any war has casualties. It doesn’t matter it’s not worth fighting! But what? You’d rather go to jail and give a free pass to the thugs who hurt people, evil pricks who make this world so unbearable you can’t stand to go on living?” Keith says and shrugs. Lance sighs and sits back next to Keith. “Keith, how did your mother die?” Lance asks and Keith stares at him with wide eyes. “You really wanna know?” He asks and Lance nods, “Yeah, I do”. “My dad said it was an accident, but she knew what she was doing. She walked into that building 2 minutes before dad blew it up. She waved at me ou the window and then KABOOM. She left me.” Keith explains and shrugs.

“I’m really sorry-” “Don’t be. The pain gives me clarity. We have a lot of work to do.” Keith says standing up, and Lance looks at him confused. “What work?” He asks and stands up too. “Making this world a decent place for people who are decent,” Keith says casually and starts walking away. “And when does it end?” Lance asks and Keith stops. Keith looks over his shoulder and smiles sweetly at him. “When every asshole is dead.” He says and Lance gasps. “Fine! We’re damaged! Like really really damaged. But that doesn’t make us wise! We’re not special! We can't choose who lives or dies!” Lance shouts and Keith turns to face him with a look of shock on his face.

“Why can’t we just be normal?! Just, just be 17, nothing else… That’s all I want to do!” Lance says as he steps closer to Keith. “I could be good with you… People hurt people if you haven’t noticed.” Lance says and a hand on Keith's shoulder. “And you’re right! It really blows. But we can’t just kill everyone who hurts us.” Lance says. “So what’s it gonna be? I wanna be with you, damaged or not. But I do not want to kill anyone, not anymore.” Lance says and Keith smiles. “I wanna be with you too… Bu- okay, I won’t kill anymore.” Keith says and Lance nods and kisses him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance reveals a secret- gladly everyone thinks that he's a joke already.

Lance is laying on his bed staring at the ceiling. Just thinking, thinking about everything. About Keith, about Allura, James, and Ryan, but he’s also thinking what will happen. Will they get caught, or will they kill someone else. The guilt is eating Lance alive. “And they all lived happily ever after. Do you really believe him? He’s a psychopath! Do you think it all just goes back to normal?” Allura’s ghost comes and sits on the bed, glaring at Lance. Lance looks at her annoyed. “Oh, don’t give me that wounded look. You know exactly what he is and you love it!” She says and Lance rolls his eyes. “Just… stop talking.” Lance complains and Allura grins.

“Only a true dead best friend would give it to you straight.” She says and Lance groans. Then the door to his room opens, and he sits up. “Lance, I need your help,” Romelle says and sits on the bed, next to Allura’s ghost. “Romelle? Sure what?” Lance says and Romelle looks at him almost scarily. “Something doesn’t add up. I think James and Ryan were… murdered.” Romelle says and Allura bursts into laughter. “Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw! Nancy Drew is onto you, Lance.”

“W- Why would you think that? They uh, found a suicide note.” Lance says and Romelle shakes her head. “It could have been faked. I mean, you forge stuff all the time, right?” _If only she knew._ She asks and Allura is practically dying with laughter _ironic_ right now, and she’s getting on Lance’s nerves. “I am in love with this fat girl!” She shouts and Lance glares at her, _Romelle is not fat_! “Who would want to kill James and Ryan?” Lance asks and hopes for Romelle to drop it.

Then James’ and Ryan’s ghost’s enter. It’s is like a fucking hunted house. “Well, I was thinking your friend Keith. You remember the way he went after them in the lunchroom!” Romelle exclaims and Ryan chuckles. “Yeah, man that sucked,” Ryan says and James nods. “There’s something off about that Keith…” Romelle explains and Lance sighs. “Look, Lance’s going to prison! Dude on duuude!” James says and nudges Ryan’s side. “Punch it in!”

“I want to look in Keith’s locker, I was hoping you could give me the combination,” Romelle says and Allura smirks and looks at her nails. “Well, I’ll bet she’d find all kinds of interesting things in that locker. Maybe some “Ich lüge” bullets?” She asks teasingly, and Lance sighs. He’s getting a headache. “Romelle, this is a pretty wild theory…” Lance says and Romelle rolls her eyes. “I don’t care what they were saying at the funeral. James was not gay! I’d stake my life on it.” Romelle explains and Ryan starts laughing. _Jokes on her, James was actually bi..._

“Ha! James is a fatty magnet!” Ryan chuckles and James rolls his eyes. “Yeah, well at least I don’t have skidmarks!” James shouts and hits Ryan. “Bullshit!” Ryan shouts back and hits James. “Skidmarks!” He shouts and hits Ryan. They start a real fistfight, and Lance is already tired of this. “Stop it!” Lance shouts and everyone stops- the ghosts included. “Stop what? Lance, what’s wrong with you?” Romelle asks slightly annoyed and Lance sighs. “I’m just trying to understand. James was gay. Why would you think anything else?” Lance asks and Romelle rolls her eyes and smiles.

“He kissed me, remember? On the kickball field.” Romelle says, and Lance groans. “Yeah, 12 years ago!” Lance exclaims, and Romelle sighs. “My heart knows the truth.” She insists and Allura comes and sits down next to Lance. “It’s time to choose, Lance. It’s eat, or be eaten.” She whispers and Lance shakes his head. “Why would he invite me to his homecoming party if he didn’t feel something?” Romelle asks and Allura snickers. “You know what to say.” She says and Steps over to James and Ryan. “Why would he write me that note? I’m gonna confront Keith.” Romelle says and stands up.

“NO!” Lance shouts and Romelle stops and looks at him confused. “Do you actually have the guts?” Allura asks and smirks. Lance lets out a forced laugh. “He didn’t invite you there! Paladins did! And- and he didn’t write that note!” Lance says and Romelle’s eyes open wide. “What do you mean..?” She asks and Lance sighs. “He didn’t write that love note… I did!” Lance says and Romelle gasps. “No…” She shakes her head furiously. “Yeah, the whole school was on the joke, the Paladins put me up to it. Nobody laughed harder than James. He didn’t love you, he was a dick. He’s dead. Move on.” Lance says sternly. 

Romelle runs out of Lance’s room, and Lance starts to cry. “Shit. Shit! I had to hurt her! If Keith ever caught her snooping around his stuff he’d-” “Kill her? Oh, is that what you’re afraid of? But I thought the desperado hung up his 6 guns. Don’t you trust him?” Allura asks smirking. “I- I’m not sure…” Lance starts sobbing and then he stops. “Wait a minute. Why the fuck are you here? Why am I talking to dead people..?” Lance questions and the jocks and Allura start to laugh. Lance just rolls his eyes and flops down to his bed, he’s so done with everything.

* * *

“Lance, there you are. I need you all in place for the assembly.” Mr. Coran says to the Paladins and Lance. “Oh, right. This thing. Christ.” Lance mumbles and follows Mr. Coran to the gym. When they get there, there are 5 rows of chairs and 5 chairs in the front. There are also TV news crews and television cameras. Him, Pidge and Hunk are all escorted to their seats, which are in the front. “Pedal to metal kids! Come on, show a little hustle.” Mr. Coran encourages the student and Hunk smiles. “I’m kind of looking forward to this.” He says and Pidge glares at him. “Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?” Pidge asks and Hunk looks at his lap. “Sorry, Pidge.”

“Hello, Westerberg! I want you to ignore the cameras and the TV news crews! We’re here to document this specific moment. Whether to kill yourself or no is one of the most important decisions a teenager can make. I know, I know. Do you know what I’m gonna do now?” Mr. Coran asks and smiles. “Kill yourself on stage?!” Some hipster dork shouts and Mr. Coran’s eyes go wide open. All the kids start to laugh, and Mr. Coran scoffs. “That’s not productive.” Mr. Coran says and then he smiles again.

“Inside everyone, there’s a hot ball of shame, guilt, regret, anxiety, and things we don’t dare to name! But if we show the ugly parts they turn out to be beautiful!” Mr. Coran says and chuckles. “Who wants to share what’s in their heart?” He asks and gets no volunteers, he sighs. “No volunteers huh? Well, I’ll start! My name’s Coran and I live alone, my husband left and my kids are all grown. In the 60s love was free! I tried joining a cult, I chopped off my mustache. I chant, I pray but god’s not there!” He starts and points to some dude in the audience. “So Steve I’m ending our affair! Gosh, that felt good! Who’s next?” Mr. Coran asks and Hunk raises his hand. “Come on here!” Mr. Coran shouts and Pidge glares at Hunk.

“What the hell are you doing?” Pidge whisper-yells and Hunk smiles at her. “It might do some good for me!” Pidge glares at him and shouts, “Hunk, get back here!”. “Zip it! Let him speak!” Mr. Corans shouts and Pidge sits back down. Hunk goes to stand in front of everyone, and he puts his hands in his pockets. “My sort-of boyfriend killed himself because he was gay for another guy. My best friend seemed to have it all together but now she’s gone, too. Now my stomach’s hurting worse and worse and every morning on the bus I feel my heart beating harder and faster and I’m like “Jesus, I’m on the freakin’ bus again because all my rides to school are dead…” And I feel like I’m gonna be next if I say something wrong or if I even wear the wrong outfit to school.” Hunk explains and Pidge stands up.

“What’s your damage, Hunk? Are you saying Westerberg is not a nice place?” Pidge teases and Mr. Coran shouts, “Pidge!”. “Where’s your school spirit? You don’t deserve to wear Westerberg school colors!” Pidge shouts and smirks. “Don’t be mean spirited!” Mr. Coran shouts and steps closer to Pidge. “Why don’t you hop in your little lifeboat and catch a gnarly wave over to Remington!” Pidge says and all the students start laughing. “Knock it off!! Alright, people settle down.” Mr. Coran tries to get them to calm down. “Aw, look! Hunk’s going to cry!” Someone shouts and everyone starts to laugh harder when Hunk runs out of the gym. Mr. Coran turns to Pidge with a stern look on his face. “Lady, you are suspended!” He exclaims and the turns to the cameras. “Turn off the cameras! Turn them off, goddammit!” he shouts and Lance steps forward from his spot.

“Is that all you care about? TV cameras?” Lance asks and Mr. Coran turns to him. “I care about saving lives! Pidge Duke ruined a valuable-” Mr. Coran says, but Lance cuts him off. “Valuable? None of us want this spectacle. To be experimented on like guinea pigs? Patronized like bunny rabbits?” Lance asks and Mr. Coran looks at him shocked. “I don’t patronize bunny rabbits!” He exclaims and Allura appears again. “This is their big secret. the adults are powerless!” She says. “Hunk Mcnamara trusted you. You said you’d protect her!” Lance shouts and Allura smirks. “They can’t help us, no one can,” Allura says to him and Laughs like a maniac. “You’re useless!” Lance shouts and Mr. Coran’s eyes open wide. He scoffs and leaves the gym.

“We’re all alone in the ocean! You’re all idiots!” Lance shouts to the other students, and Keith comes and tries to calm him down. “Lance, maybe you should sit back-” Lance pushes his off and turns to the others again. “No, let go! Allura Chandler was a monster, just like James and Ryan! They didn’t kill themselves I killed them! What do you think about that!” Lance screams and his voice sounded hoarse towards the end because of all the shouting. Everyone stops and looks at him with wide eyes. Lance too stops and slaps a hand over his mouth.

Everyone was quiet until Pidge started laughing. “God, some people will say anything if they think it’ll make them popular!” Pidge laughs, and everyone else joins them. Lance runs out of there, and Keith shouts after him, “Lance!”.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Romelle Dunnstock took a belly flop off the Old Mill bridge last night holding a suicide note"

Lance was trying to find Hunk, but it seems that Pidge found him first. “Stupid childproof caps!” Hunk shouts as he tries to desperately open a pill bottle. Pidge comes to the bathroom and laughs when she sees Hunk. “Aww, is Hunk going to cry?” Pidge mocked and made a crying motion with her hands. “You don’t deserve to live, it should’ve been you, not Allura, James or Ryan!” Pidge says and snickers, Hunk starts to sob. Pidge rolls her eyes and takes the bottle from Hunk, and opens it with only a little difficulty. “Here, have a sedative!” She shouts and pushes the pill bottle to his hand again. “Go on and whine, you’re so pathetic!” Pidge exclaims and chuckles.

“Your ass is off the team, so you can bitch and moan all you want,” Pidge says rolling her eyes, and Hunk looks at her with wide eyes. “You don’t deserve to dream, and let’s be honest: you’re going to die alone, pathetic,” Pidge says and leaves the bathroom, leaving a sobbing Hunk with an _empty_ pill bottle in hand. Lance runs inside and pushes Pidge out of the way. When he sees Hunk he immediately goes over and knocks the pills out his hands and helps him to spit out the rest. “Suicide is a private thing, you know…” Hunk says and Lance sighs. “Throwing your life away to be a statistic in USA Today? It’s the least private thing I can think off.” Lance says and Hunk sniffles. “What about Allura? James and Ryan?” Hunk asks and Lance starts feeling super guilty again.

“If everyone jumped off a bridge, would you?” Lance asks and Hunk shrugs, “Probably.”. Lance sighs and hugs hunk. “If you were happy all the time, you wouldn’t be human. You’d be a game show host.” Lance says and chuckles. Hunk laughs sadly and sniffles again. “Thanks for coming after me,” he says and Lance nods. “Of course, I’m here for you…” Lance says and Hunk gets up to leave, leaving Lance alone to sit on the bathroom floor with the pills and the empty pill bottle.

* * *

Keith comes in and sits next to Lance on Keith’s bed. “You’re a genius! You know, you had me worried with your little confession but you pulled it off. Best place to hide: right in plain sight.” Keith says and puts an arm around Lance’s shoulders. Lance leans into the touch and says, “I wasn’t trying to hide.”. “But why’d you have to go and mess with Mcnamara? One more dead Paladin’s a good thing.” Keith says and Lance glares at him. “He’s my friend.” Lance simply says and takes a deep breath. “If he’s such a good friend, why let Duke live? The bitch who made Mcnamara want to die, nothing ever changes! Unless-”

“Hey! We are out of the “change” business! You promised, remember? I’m holding you to it-” Keith looks away from Lance. “Doesn’t it bother yuóu that Duke walks free doing the same old evil in the same old ways?” Keith asks and Lance glares at him. “Don’t talk away from me! You promised!” Lance complains and Big Bud Dean comes to Keith’s room and both of the teens turn to the door. “ “Gee pop, ever heard of knocking? I was playing grab-ass with my boyfriend.” “ He says and Keith sighs. “ “ Young man, you know the rules; when company's over, the bedroom door stays open.” “ Keith says and Big Bud Dean chuckles. “So the judge, god bless him, told those Glenn Miller groupies to slurp shit and die! You should’ve seen the fireworks, got it all on video. Loaded the upper floors with thermals, and set the whole thing off with a Norwegian in the boiler room. Kaboom! I’ll be right back, I’m gonna need my drawstring pants for this one.” Big bud dean says.

Just as he’s about to exit the room, Keith takes his _gun_ out and shoots into the ceiling startling his dad and Lance. “Goddammit! NO firearms in the house!” His dad shouts, and Keith smirks while nodding. Lance turns to Keith with a shocked expression. “Why are you carrying a gun?” He asks and Keith chuckles. “It pisses off my dad, It’s funny.” Keith answers and Lance slaps his shoulder. “It’s not funny! None of this is funny!” Lance exclaims and gets off from the bed, and starts gathering his belongings. “Why are you carrying a gun?! You promised me!” Lance asks again and Keith stands up, still the gun in hand. “Hey, it’s a dangerous world,” Keith says and Lance glares at him. “Yeah, because of you! Don’t call me, don’t talk to me.” Lance says and goes to the door, but gets stopped when Keith grabs his arm. “Lance!” Keith says and Lance looks him in the eyes. “You don’t know right from wrong, we’re over,” Lance says and tries to get out of Keith’s hold. “No- wait Lance! This isn’t dangerous-” Keith starts but stops when he sees Lance’s scared expression, and he sees that he’s pointing his gun to Lance’s head. “Over!” Lance shouts and yanks his arms back. “But I love you!” Keith tries to reason but Lance just keeps walking. “FUCK!” Keith shouts and shoots again to the ceiling.

* * *

Keith walks over to Pidge and smirks. “I now know thee, thou clear spirit.” He says and Pidge turns around. “That’s from Moby Dick.” She says and Keith nods. “I appreciate a well-read woman.” He says and Pidge’s eyes drift to the envelope that in his hands. “What’s in the envelope?” She asks and Keith hand it to her. “You’re gonna want to see it.” Is all he says before Pidge opens the envelope, and quickly shuts it. “Oh shit.” She glares at him. “The tangible reminder that at around age six, I’m guessing. You and Romelle Dunnstock were friends.” Keith teases and Pidge is red from embarrassment. “Where did you get these? Did Lance give them to you? What do you want, money?” She asks and throws the envelope back to Keith, who just smiles. “A favor.” Pidge shakes her head. “N- No way.” She says and Keith shrugs. “I really love this one of you and Romelle in the bathtub together,” Keith says and shows her the picture. “These photos are ancient history. Nobody cares about the past. Nobody cares about Romelle Dumptruck!” Pidge exclaims and Keith just shrugs with his smirk widening.

* * *

Hunk and Lance are playing croquet. Pidge comes and smiles at them. “Hey, guys! Missed you after 8th period.” She exclaims and both the males roll their eyes. “Yeah, we were avoiding you,” Lance says and Hunk nods. “What you did sucked.” He said and Pidge rolled her eyes. “Fine. Skip the foreplay, sign this.” Pidge hands Lance a clipboard with a petition on it. “What’s this..?” Hunk asks and comes looking at the sheet over Lance’s shoulder. “It’s a petition to have MTV throw a spring break blowout in Westerberg in order to raise suicide awareness. I got everybody to sign. I’m going to make an inspirational speech about it at the pep rally tonight.” She explains and Lance shakes his head. “Ugh, count me out.” She says and Pidge rolls her eyes. “Ugh Lance, why are you pulling my dick? It was your boyfriend's idea after all.” She says and Lance raises an eyebrow. “Keith’s?” Lance asks and Pidge nods.

“Look, I don’t know what he’s up to but if you know what’s good for you, you’ll throw that clipboard away,” Lance says and hands it back and Pidge scoffs. “Not a chance. I’ll just fake your signature as I did with Romelle Dumptruck, she’s in no shape to sign after last night…” Pidge mumbles the last part. “What happened last night?” Lance asks and Pidge chuckles. “It was on the radio. She took a belly flop off the Old Mill bridge holding a suicide note.” Pidge says and Lance gasps. “Oh my god! Is she dead?” Lance asks and Pidge shakes her head. “Just some broken bones. Just another _geek_ trying to imitate the popular people and failing miserably.” Pidge says rolling her eyes, and Lance’s eyes water. Out of the corner of his eyes, he sees the ghosts entering again- great. Just great.

“Yo bOy. Keep it together, we knew that you would come far.” They all say at the same time, and Lance shakes his head. “Now you’re truly a Paladin, really! Smell how gangsta you are!” They say again, and Lance closes his eyes and mutters ‘no’s over and over again. When he opens them, he’s suddenly at the hospital in front of Romelle’s hospital bed. She looks so wrecked. Lance collapses on to the bed and starts sobbing. “I’m so so sorry Romelle!” He chants over and over again, and gasps when he feels someone touch his shoulder. He turns around and sees the ghosts there. “Yo boy feeling a bit punchy? She’s not looking that well… Still, _you’ve_ earned that red scrunchie. Come on, join Allura in hell!” They shout and Lance gets up from his spot and starts running away from the hospital room.

He ran all the way back home, and when he opens their front door, both of his parents are there, and they’re not looking happy. “Where have you been?” Mr. Sawyer asks and Lance looks down. “We’ve been worried sick! Your friend Keith dropped by and told us everything.” Mrs. Sawyer says and Lance looks at her in the eyes and asks, “Everything?!”. Both Sawyers nod. “Your depression? Your thoughts of suicide?!” Mr. Sawyer starts. “He even showed us your copy of Moby Dick!” Mrs. Sawyer says and Lance’s eyes open wide. She shows the copy to Lance, and Allura comes behind him. “He’s got your handwriting down cold.” She comments and Lance rolls his eyes. “Please honey! Talk to us!” Mrs. Sawyer tries to grab Lance’s arm so he wouldn’t leave, but Lance yanks it back immediately. “No, you’d never understand!” Lance shouts.

Because how should they understand, if Lance can’t understand himself. “Try me! I know it all seems impossibly dramatic.” Mrs. Sawyer tries again, and the jocks and Allura just laugh at her attempts. “Your problems seem like _life_ and _death_ -” She continues, and Lance wishes he could tell her the irony of that. “ _I promise_! They’re not.” Promises mean nothing, no one ever keeps them. So why are they making them?! “You don’t know what my world looks like!” Lance shouts and runs the stairs up to his room. The ghosts following him. Lance gets to his room and slams the door closed. “Aghh!!” He screams and falls to his knees. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance regrets a lot of things- one of them was falling in love with Keith.

“Knock! Knock!” Lance turns his head and sees Keith standing there, with a gun and papers in his hand. “Sorry for coming in through the window. Dreadful etiquette, I know.” Lance runs to his closet, and closes the door, putting his clothes and some boxes in front of it so Keith can’t get in. “Get out of my house, Keith!” He screams and Keith just laughs and he moves closer to the closet. “Hiding in the closet? Come on, unlock the door.” Keith says knocking on the closet door a few times. “I’ll scream and my parents will call the police!” Lance threatens but Keith just smiles. “All is forgiven, baby! Come out and get dressed! You’re my date to the pep rally tonight!” Keith exclaims. “What? Why?!” Lance asks and Keith looks at the papers in his hand. “Our classmates thought they were signing a petition, but you should come out and see what they really signed!” Keith says and Lance starts shaking.

“You threw me out like I was trash, for that _you_ should be dead! But then it hit me like a flash. What if they all just went away instead? Those assholes they're the key, they’re keeping you away from me! They all made me seem like the bad guy when I’m really not!” Keith starts and Lance starts sobbing in the closet. “You left me all alone, you said you wouldn’t do that! And so I built a bomb! Tonight our school will be Vietnam! We can guarantee that none of them ever see their senior prom!” Keith continues and steps closer to the closet. “I was meant to be yours, and you were meant to be mine! We were meant for each other! C’mon, don’t give up on me now!” Keith cries out, and that gets Lance almost out of the closet. Almost. Lance can’t tell if he’s scared or angry right now. Everything is a blur.

“So when the high school gym goes BOOM with everyone inside, we’ll just plant this note explaining why they died! “We the students of Westerberg will die. Our burnt bodies may finally get through to you. Our society churns out slave and blanks. Signed the students of Westerberg High, Goodbye!” We’ll watch the smoke pour out the doors, and we can cuddle while the fire roars!” Keith shouted and hit the closet door, making Lance flinch. Think Lance, think! Lance looked around the door, and he saw some rope. Why does he have that, he doesn’t know. He crawls over the rope and makes a noose out of it. He gets a stool and steps on it. He ties it around his waist and puts his shirt on it so it doesn’t show. Then he ties it to the ceiling and puts the noose around his neck. He kicks the stool away and just hangs in the air. It’s not very comfortable, but it’s not that uncomfortable either. He can manage until Keith leaves. He closes his eyes and focuses on Keith’s voice once more.

“We were meant to be one! You were meant to be mine! I’m all that you could possibly need! You carved my heart open, so don’t just leave me to bleed!” Keith shouts and starts banging on the closet door. “Lance, open the- the door! Lance open the goddamn door!” Keith shouts and bangs to it. “Lance, can we not fight anymore, please? Just open the door, and everything will be okay! Lance sure, you’re scared, I’ve been there! I can help you get over it! Don’t make me break the door down! Please!” Keith shouts, and sniffles. “I’m gonna count to three!” He shouts and Lance takes a deep breath. “1… 2… FUCK IT!” He shouts and kicks the door handle, so he can get in. He takes a while to get past all the stuff that was in front of the door but when he sees Lance he lets out a bloody frightening scream.

“No! Lance… oh my god!” Keith sobs and bangs his fist to the floor. “Please, don’t leave me alone! You were all I had, all I trusted… no... I can’t do this alone!” Keith exclaims and looks up to Lance. Keith then stands up and wipes his tears with his sleeve. “But, I will. I’ll go on without you for you.” Keith says and gets out through the window, and Lance starts taking off the fake noose. “Lance, I brought you a snack- AHH!” Mrs. Sawyer screams and drops the plate and runs to Lance. “No, don’t do it!” She shouts and Lance rolls his eyes. “I wasn’t going to- I uhm. It’s a joke, I’m sorry.” He says and takes the rest of the rope off him. “It’s not funny!” She shouts and Lance nods. “I know, I’m sorry.” Mr. Sawyer comes in. “You’re sorry for what? I heard a scream, is everything okay?” He asks and Lance nods. “Yeah, I’m sorry for being a horrible person.” He says and starts walking out of his room. “Wait- where are you going?” Mrs. Sawyer asks and Lance shrugs, “out.” Lance is almost walking off when he notices something under the clothing pile. He goes over and picks it up- it’s Keith’s gun. He puts it under his shirt to the waistband of his pants, and then runs away.

* * *

Lance is walking to the school, all alone, with Keith’s gun. He’s not entirely sure what he’s going to do with it, but he hopes he’s not going to kill anyone this time. He wanted someone strong who could protect him, but now he has to protect himself from Keith. Keith’s solution is a lie, no one here deserves to die, except for him and the monster he created out of Keith. Lance goes inside the school, and you can hear the music and the cheering come from the gym. Keith was not very smart when he told Lance his plan, what a dumbass. Lance is walking towards the gym, and he bumps into Mr. Coran. He helps Lance get up. “Lance? Keith Dean told me you’ve just committed suicide!” He exclaims and Lance shrugs. “Yeah well, he’s wrong about a lot of things…” Lance says and Mr. Coran smiles. “I threw together a lovely tribute, especially considering the short notice.” Mr. Coran tells him and Lance smiles. “Uhm, Mr. Coran, what’s under the gym?” Lance asks and Mr. Coran raises an eyebrow. “The boiler room.” He says and Lance’s eyes lit up. “That’s it!” He shouts and starts running to the boiler room. “Lance, what’s going on?!” Mr. Coran shouts after him, but Lance is already gone.

Lance goes down the stairs and spots Keith planting the bomb. Lance takes out the gun and points it to Keith. “A Norwegian in the boiler room. Just like your dad.” Lance says and Keith turns to him and he smiles. “I thought you’d lost your taste for faking suicides.” He smirks and Lance glares at him. “Step away from the bomb, Keith!” Lance exclaims and Keith smirks almost proudly. “This little thing?” He asks pointing to the bomb trigger next to him. “I’d hardly call this a bomb. This is just to trigger the packs of thermals upstairs in the gym. Those, are bombs. People are gonna see the ashes of Westerberg high and they’re gonna that ‘there’s a school that self-destructed not because society doesn’t care, but because that school was society’! The only place where people like the Paladins and Romelle can get along is in heaven!” Keith shouts and Lance takes a deep breath before stepping forward.

“I wish you mom hadn't left so early… I wish she stayed around a little longer. I wish your dad were good! I wish grown-ups would understand!” Lance shouts and steps a little closer. Keith’s eyes are wide open, and a tear left his eye. “I wish we’d met before, they convinced you life is war! I wish you would just come with me and leave all this…” Lance continued and offered his hand for Keith to take and leave all this behind. Keith looked between Lance’s face and his hand. “I wish I had more TNT!” Keith shouts and hits the gun from Lance's hand. “Ahh! Shit!” He screams, and both of the boys look at each other, then the gun, then again each other and then they’re both running to the gun. When Keith was almost at the gun, Lance grabbed his mullet and threw him away from the gun. Lance was so close to the gun, and then Keith grabbed his ankle, and he lost balance and fell face-first to the ground. Keith gets up from his position and runs to the gun but Lance was faster, he kicked Keith’s feet from under him and crawled to take the gun.

His vision is a little blurry, and his nose and forehead are both bleeding, he may have a black eye too and his back will surely have a bruise after this. Lance points the gun to Keith’s head, and Keith looks at it with wide eyes. Keith furrows his brows and tried to attack Lance, but Lance shoots him in the side of his ribcage. “ARRGH!” Keith shouts and grabs his bleeding his side. A mix of salty water, sweat and blood drip from his face. “W- was it good for you? Kind of sucks for me…” Keith joked and let out a breathy chuckle, and then starts gasping for air. He falls to the ground and groans in pain. Lance takes the bomb and runs off leaving the gun there.

* * *

“The irony here is that I didn’t get a chance to write my own suicide note,” Lance mumbles and collapses on to the football field. “This would be peaceful if this bomb wouldn’t be ticking and reminding me that I’m going to die,” Lance mumbles again and stares at the sky. Now Lance has time to really think. He thinks how much he regrets joining the Paladins. If he wouldn’t have joined, Allura, James, Ryan and now him wouldn’t have to die. This was all his fault, huh. People always say things like “die without regrets”, and Lance has nothing but regrets. “Smart thinking.” Lance sits up and looks at Keith. He has his hand on his wound, and his limping and all bloody. “Drag the trigger out to the football field, that way nobody dies. Expect you if you keep holding on to that thing.” Keith says and moves closer to Lance. Lance doesn’t move at all, he’s going to die, why not waste the last second of his life with a psychopath. “I killed people, and I’m going to pay for that!” Lance shouts and wipes his tears off, but they just keep coming. 

Keith shakes his head and smiles sadly. “Not you. Me. I destroy things, just like my dad, it never occurred to me to try building anything. But you’re different.” Keith kneels in front of Lance, and while Lance’s distracted Keith takes the bomb and crawls away. “Go do something with your life, okay?” Keith says and hugs the bomb close to him. “Keith! No!” Lance shouts and tries to crawl to him, but he doesn’t have any energy left, what a shame. “I'm damaged, way too damaged! But you’re still not beyond repair! You have to make things better!” Keith shouts and crawls even further away from Lance, who’s still lying on the ground. “Please stand back now,” Keith begs and Lance accepts his defeat and goes a little further back. “‘Little further.” Lance gets up from the ground and limps further away from Keith.

“Hope you’ll miss, I wish you could kiss me. I really do worship you, and now I’ll trade my life for yours…” Keith says between pants. “oh my god-” Lance sobbed and fell to his knees. “And once I disappear-” Keith grunts and Lance is wiping his tears aggressively. “Wait- hold on!” Lance tries to shout, but his voice is already hoarse from all of this, so it gets out between wheezes. “Clean up the mess I’ve made!” Keith says and Lance lets out another sob. “Not this way!” Lance shouts as loud as he can. “Our love is god, remember me,” Keith says and they both notice there are only 10 seconds left. “I love you, Keith! I really do!” Lance shouts and lets out a sob. “I know, I love you too,” Keith says and smiles. 

Then everything exploded, Lance wasn’t sure if it was him or Keith at first who was screaming, but after the explosion, he was sure it was him. Everything was first red and then black, he probably shut his eyes. His ears are ringing, and it feels like he’s on fire, maybe he is. He opens his eyes and looks around. There’s blood everywhere, and Keith’s clothes are all around the football field and they’re on fire. Black thick smoke is covering Lance’s surroundings, and it’s hard to see through or even breath. Lance gets up on his shaky legs and starts making his way out of there. His coughing and limping all the way to the front doors. He looks back to the football field and screams again, but this time it’s only coming in a wheeze. Like he has no voice left. Lance then smiles, then he chuckles, and then he laughs. Lance starts laughing and once he stops he looks at his reflection on the glass door.

His hair is a mess, it’s like a bedhead but 10x worse. His forehead has dried out blood on it, and so does his nose and his lip. Half of his face is covered in ash, and his clothes too. He is also bleeding from his right arm. He opens the door and starts walking inside. The bell rings and everyone gets out of the gym, Romelle with crutches, and Hunk, and Pidge as the first ones. When they get out, they stop in front of him. “Where have you been? People are saying you killed yourself! What happened?!” Hunk exclaims and Pidge scoffs. “You look like hell.” She says and Lance glares at her. “I just got back..” Lance steps closer to her and pulls the red scrunchie off her hair, and she shouts at him, “Hey, what are you doing?!”. Lance doesn’t answer her, but puts the red scrunchie on his wrist, since his hair isn’t long enough to put it in.

“Romelle, are you free tonight?” Lance asks and turns his whole body to face Romelle. “What?” She asks and blinks a few times, checking Lance from head to toe. “UHm, my date for the pep rally kind of _blew_ \- mE OfF. So, I was wondering, if you weren’t doing anything tonight. Maybe we could pop some Jiffy Pop and rent a video, something with a happy ending?” He asks and Romelles smiles at him sadly. “Are there actually any happy endings?” She asks looking Lance up and down again. “I can’t promise that there wouldn’t be any more Paladins. Hell, high school may not ever end! Still, I miss you. And I’d be honored to call you my friend again.” Lance says and smiles at Romelle. “Did we ever stop being friends?” Romelle asks and smirks at Lance. Lance chuckles and shrugs. “No, we didn’t.” He says and starts chatting with Romelle just like the old days, with Pidge next to him complaining how ‘he tries to replace Allura.’ and how ‘he doesn’t have any right to touch the scrunchie.’.

Maybe Lance can try and fix things here, just like Keith wanted him to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this! Comments and kudos are appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> Heyy, I'm rewriting this shit right now.


End file.
